Friday, August 31, 2007

I love my life!! So many things are going on right now, and it's all so exciting! School has started, which is a little less exciting, however, it feels good to be in a routine again. My schedule really isn't that bad, but I'm going to have to work hard this semester to keep my grades up.
My dad and I had our first meeting for our missions trip to Kenya! I left the meeting feeling a little overwhelmed at all of the information thrown at us, but overall - I left feeling so excited for this opportunity that God has placed before us. I feel so blessed to be able to share this with my dad as well. Our countdown is down to 4 months - so it's quickly approaching, and I feel that I have so much to do before December 26th! Pray that as the day approaches, my dad and I will have everything in order: Spiritually, emotionally, and financially.
Last weekend Mike took me to Indy to spend some time with two of my best friends. I had really been missing them, so he planned a night that we took off of work and were able to spend some quality time down there. Here's a picture of Sheena, Jamie, Mike, and I at the girls' apartment in Indy. It was so great to spend time catching up with them on Friday night. Thanks girls for a great time! I am so thankful that Mike wanted to go down to spend time with them as well.
On Saturday, while we were in Indy, Mike and I went to the zoo! I had been talking about going to the zoo for awhile, and Mike must have been paying attention because he surprised me with this fun trip! We had a great time looking at all the animals, taking pictures, and of course my favorite - watching the dolphins!!

I guess we tried to make our summer adventures last just a little bit longer, because this past Tuesday Mike and I headed to Chicago for the Cubs game! I had bought tickets for Mike a few months ago as a surprise for his birthday. It was a very hot day in Chi-Town! But we had so much fun at the game, and we had a lot of time to just catch up with each other and really enjoy each other's company. I really appreciate that time that we had together. This semester will be a busy one for both of us, so I am so grateful that we are able to make time for each other like that. Also, at this Cubs game - we made things more official :) Mike and I are now together. He asked me to be his girlfriend during batting practice. haha. It was very sweet and I'm still smiling! I think this was the highlight of my day, but I'm pretty sure the fact that the Cubs beat the Brewers made Mike's day! :)
Well, there's my 'update' post. I haven't done one in awhile. I would love to hear from all of you. I hope all is well, and just know that you are all in my prayers and thoughts often.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Sleepless nights, Racing thoughts.

I feel like I'm treading water right now...treading just to stay afloat. Once in awhile, like last night, my head slips below the water and I think to myself "I'm tired. I'm drained. When will I find rest?" But then from somewhere deep within I find enough strength to lift my head out of the water and if only for a moment, catch my breath. Unfortunately this morning as I'm lying awake in bed at 6am with a million thoughts running through my head I can feel myself slipping again, back into the water. I'm losing sleep, my mind is racing, and I can't help but think the worst in many of the situations I find myself in. I had a very intimate time with God last night. One that left me with tear stained cheeks and a new realization of the power of God's grace. But as I'm lying awake last night, unable to find sleep, and this morning - I remember myself almost begging to learn of God's will for my life during this time with Him. And now I wonder...will that be shown to me? Will He make it clear? I still feel lost...
My situations aren't worthy of mentioning. But evidently they are worthy of losing sleep over. They make me feel as if I could drown at any moment. In one particular situation, I find myself really wanting to give up. To just throw in the towel and say "I'm over it!" But my heart beats the truth...I'm attached. I'm far from over it. But my head is constantly competing with my heart and tries to be my voice of reason. Anyone who knows me though knows that a voice of reason sounds very small and faint against my emotions.
So what am I looking for? Rest, solitude, peace. Peace within myself. Peace in a relationship. I want an apology. I want someone to see what I see. I want to run away. I want understanding. Yes, ultimately I just want this person to understand. To listen. To care.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Blessings


I re-read my last post. Some of the changes I talked about have already occurred. Trina and her family made the move out to Oregon yesterday morning. It was a tough goodbye, but considering I'm horrible with all goodbyes no matter what - it was bound to be tough.
I'm blessed though with a family that I could come back to who let me cry on their shoulders for as long as I needed to. I'm also blessed with some great friends who hugged me, made me smile, and lifted my spirits when I decided I was done crying.

As much as I'm dreading the start of school, there's so many things I'm looking forward to in the next coming weeks. This Saturday I'm heading to Manchester to visit with a few of my high school friends. Next weekend my old roommate, Kristin, and I are taking a day off of work and going to Ft. Wayne for a day of shopping (mostly window shopping by me). Then, the following Saturday- Mike has a special date planned for us. He's taking me to either Ft. Wayne or Indy for the day. He won't tell me where we're going or what we're doing. The only thing he has told me is to take the whole day off of work and to bring two sets of clothes- casual and dressy. I happen to love surprises so I'm in great anticipation of this day!! I also surprised Mike with Cubs vs. Brewers tickets for his birthday. So we are going to the Cubs game in Chicago on the 28th. School starts that same week, but with all the fun things that are planned maybe I'll be able to get through it!


I'm so blessed with great people in my life. Near and Far.