Wednesday, April 25, 2007


There's so much going on in our world today, that I just have so many questions. I wonder what God is doing a lot of the time. I know that He has a great plan for all of us, and that living on this Earth isn't supposed to be easy by any means. I know that this place is just temporary and our real home will be in Heaven. But knowing all of this, doesn't bring much comfort when I hear more news about the Virginia Tech Massacre, or police officers in South Bend being shot just for doing their jobs. I struggle with why tornados rip apart neighborhoods and families. My heart hurts for a friend who lost his fiance in a car accident, after just proposing two weeks ago. And yes, my heart still aches for losing Nick and never knowing how that accident happened. I try and imagine where God was throughout all of these times.
I do find comfort knowing that he was there - wrapping his arms around all of the families, victims, and students at VT. He was there in the hotel room when another SB police officer was shot. He weeped for Andrew and his family, and Emily and hers when Emily was killed. He held Andrew as he found out. Just as I know he was in that car with me on that dark Kansas night in September when I found out that Nick was killed. And I know that after four years, he's been with me every step of the way. I do find comfort in all of these things. But it's hard at the end of the day to NOT question why all of these events, and countless others, have happened. I have found peace in the fact that maybe this is God saying -
"Look at the destruction and saddness around you. Feel how your heart breaks. You will see and feel none of that when you are with me. You will find comfort."

Monday, April 16, 2007

Something to Smile about...

Today was an extremely long day on campus, but I couldn't help smiling. My parents have officially given me the OK to go to Kenya next March!! I'm so excited. Nappanee Missionary sends a group to Kenya, Africa every March to work at an Abandoned Baby Center through Africa Gospel Church. My dad is also going to try to go as well. I'm so excited. This is something that I really care about, and after I took a Sociology of AIDS course at IUPUI last fall, I feel even more strongly about going to help in Kenya and spreading God's Word. So for the next 11 months it will be SAVE SAVE SAVE for me as far as my funds go! I would appreciate prayers as we all know I'm not the best saver.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the Virginia Tech. campus today. The news of the shooting is horrific, and I can't even begin to imagine how those students and families are feeling tonight. They have all been cheated out of normal college experiences, and my heart goes out to them.

...Virginia Tech you are in our prayers...

Sunday, April 15, 2007

I gave in...

Ok, Ok, I joined the bandwagon of blogging. Truth is, I just miss writing. Yes, I have my journal and I love it, but for some reason this is different. So here it is - my thoughts and ramblings as I try and figure out what God's plan is for my life in this world. Some days that plan seems so clear, and others- well, His plan for my life isn't always so crystal clear. I find myself wanting to change directions 100 times while wondering if the path I've chosen is right. So currently where am I heading? One more year of school to obtain my bachelor's (this isn't coming soon enough. I'm so ready to graduate.) I'm working towards a bachelor's in Sociology in attempts to become a Grief Counselor. This has been my passion for over a year now - and I can't imagine a job that I would want more than this. But the path to this career has been anything but smooth and well-guided. This is one of those things that I wonder if I'm choosing the right path. I know that this is something I want to do, but is God using this in His plan for me? I moved back to Nappanee 4 months ago after being away for three years. I thought that this is where God wanted me. But now I'm feeling like a move is in my future. I don't know where or when. But it's just a stirring that I feel in my heart. I do know, however, that I was supposed to be here for a reason. And anyone who has known me well enough for the last 4 months has seen that firsthand. God is definitely at work in me. Sometimes I just wish I was clued in to all of his plans! I know we all feel this way from time to time, and I guess that's why He tells us not to fear, because He does know the plans for us. I believe God has a sense of humor though - and loves to watch us think that we know where our lives are headed.
Well speaking of all that schooling that I'm tired's on to the homework.